It’s 4:01 am and I’ve been up for about 30 minutes. Yesterday I was up from 4:30am to 6:30am. But I’m not quite so annoyed after I had the thought that this is how God planned things. I was thinking that it’s so cruel and unfair that I should be having a difficult time sleeping when this is my last chance for a while to sleep through the night. But now I think this is just my body getting prepared for the new sleep pattern. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t naturally a light sleeper.
Anyway, it doesn’t help that I’m getting more and more anxious about Eliza’s arrival. I wish I hadn’t assumed so confidently that she would arrive much earlier than her due date. Every day I get more disappointed. I wish I could think of something to do to enjoy my last fews days of “freedom”. But I can’t think of anything I would rather do than to hold her and nurse her and bathe her and take pictures of her.