I had mentioned to Joanna the other day that I’ve been having lots of zombie nightmares since I became pregnant. I always wake up just in time before they get me. This really isn’t as strange as it may seem though, since Shane and I absolutely love zombie movies. I haven’t mentioned it because it doesn’t really seem connected to the pregnancy. Not that I believe dreams have prophetic meaning, but I do think that dreams are thoughts running wild and they are influenced by our hopes and fears. So sometimes, I find my dreams interesting. But I’m stumped about the zombie encounters.
Anyhoo, last night I had my first dream about the baby. Unfortunately, it was horrible. So, horrible and weird, I just have to share. First off, I gave birth to a boy. A very big boy. They said he was 7 lb. 7 oz. (possibly influenced by Joanna’s Anna?), but when everyone looked at him, they said “No way! He’s huge!” This is because he was more like a toddler. He had a full head of blond hair and blue eyes. Which couldn’t really happen to us since we both have brown hair and brown eyes, although Shane does have brown and green eyes. And then I went to get him out of the bassinet to feed him and he said “Put me down!” So I did and he started of running! I was in tears. “I want a helpless infant! Someone must have given us the wrong baby! This just can’t be right!” It probably doesn’t sound that awful to you, but in my dream I really believed that this was the baby I’d been growing. That this was the baby that was mine and I couldn’t stop being angry and disappointed and I felt so bad about not loving him just the same as if he had been a helpless infant. Because I was expecting a helpless infant. When I woke up, I couldn’t have been happier that I was still pregnant. And really happy when I realized that in reality, I’m surely to give birth to an infant and not a toddler.