Shane has been on bed rest from a surgery for 10 days now. At first he was helping me a little, but then things got worse for him. So then he had to not help. At. All. He was feeling better yesterday and so insisted he help.
We got into a disagreement about this and I finally said “Life sucks for both us right now! I have to do everything and you have to be helpless and watch me suffer! We just have to deal with it! So please! Stop pushing yourself!!”
It was a really weird argument.
But that’s not the drama.
Let me sit down. And take a deep breath.
I’m going to homeschool Caleb starting in three weeks.
Shane and I have finally hit our limit. We have no clue what’s going on while he’s at school. His lack of self-control coupled with the school’s lack of communication and tendency to overdramatize his actions has made it clear that we need to take control.
We know it’s the right thing to do because we’ve always thought homeschool was not right for Caleb, but this time, before even talking to each other, we both had the same thought that it was necessary and it wasn’t going to be scary. Because it had to be done.
Things really couldn’t be more ideal actually. I have many good friends who have been homeschooling for several years. We also have a few neighbors who homeschool, including one family who has four kids also.
Obviously, my time commitments will need to change. I will likely have to put off the Cook’s Illustrated Project for a while. But I’m not sure I can let go of any other projects because they either benefit the running of the household (like my organizing projects) or are just something I can’t live without (like the Riley Blake mystery block of the month). I have to be crafty. I just have to be me. I joke about my name being mommy, but there is always that fear that I will lose myself in my role as mother and wife.
I know I said I’m not scared about this new journey, but maybe I am. Just a little. Not that it won’t work out in the end. It will. But the journey will likely have a few bumps in the road. And maybe I do wonder, just a little, if I will be strong enough not to lose my grip on the wheel.