When babies start screaming and demanding that I do nothing but carry them and walk around, I tend to get stupid and non-functioning. So I’ve decided to document my go-to list of ways to get the miserable creature to hush.
1. Go through standard checklist: Hungry? Tired? Dirty diaper? In need of Tylenol?
2. Take the baby outside in the fresh air.
3. Take the baby for a walk.
4. Give the baby a bath.
5. Call Shane. Tell him that I am about to throw the baby out the window and ask if he would like to talk me out of it.
6. Call my friend with the most amount of kids. Since Joanna has 6 kids she has surely wanted to throw one (or all) of them out the window and she will make me feel better about myself.
7. Enlist the other kids to entertain the baby while I lock myself in the bathroom.
8. If all else fails, feed the baby lollipops until Shane gets home. Pass baby off to sane (but soon to be stupid and non-functioning) Shane.