If you didn’t know, The Pregnant Man (TPM) is pregnant again. I feel compelled to write about him because he’s due four days before me. And since all these pregnancy-related posts are mostly for the baby’s baby book, I think it’s an interesting addition to the discussion. This is certainly something that is shocking to a lot of people and a sign of how things are in 2008. I wonder what kinds of topics were big news in 1976/7 when my mom was pregnant with me. I had actually written what’s below about three weeks ago. But, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to post it because I’m not the most eloquent
writer and not sure if I was getting my feelings across very well. Also, I’m pretty sensitive and don’t want to be ridiculed for my opinions. And so it’s safe to say that I should stay away from posting about controversial topics. But, after sitting on it for a while, I decided to post this because this is for my baby, not for you.
Anyway, I watched the interview with Barbara Walters. This guy and his wife make me feel two things: frightened and compassionate.
Frightened because I think this world is already so complicated. I happened to also catch the episode of The View (which was such a coincidence because I’ve never actually watched it before) where Barbara was talking about her then-upcoming interview with him. Barbara asked Elizabeth Hasselbeck what she would think if one of her daughter’s classmates had two mommies or two daddies. And Elizabeth replied that of course, she fully expected that situation to arise. Barbara said that ten years ago, no one would have said that. And she is so right. Which makes me wonder if this strange scenario with TPM will also not be so shocking in ten years. And no matter if you support the guy or are totally disgusted, you have to agree that having to deal with it, is way more complicated than not having to deal with it. Kinda like how it used to be easier for parents to send their kids to school in California, not having to worry that their six year old is going to be taught about gay marriage. Not having to think about that is easier than trying to figure out exactly what you want to do about it.
And then on the other hand, I felt bad for this guy. That he felt compelled to live his life this way to be happy. I can’t imagine wanting to be a man. He actually felt so much like a man that he’s willing to go through all this. I just can’t imagine. He played some messages that people had left on his answering machine. They were so nasty and I just wonder what people are thinking that is going to accomplish. I mean, to be so nasty. That certainly isn’t going to make him think. “Gee, this is weird and wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this.” I suppose those people are frightened too, about what this means for the future. But I don’t get intimidation and hate as a tactic. Is it a sin to just be nice to people you don’t agree with and allow God to do the judging? If they are committing a sin, isn’t it their right to do so? I still haven’t figured that Christian lesson out.
I don’t really want to accept this guy. I really want him to just go away so I don’t have to think about it. But the truth is, making him feel like a freak isn’t going to make people like him stop feeling the way they do. And the thing I really hate is that so many people are born with an inclination to be other than heterosexual. I’m sure many of them would love to not feel that way. I don’t hate them, I hate that they have to deal with it. During the Barbara Walters interview, she interviewed a birthing coach who helps gay and transsexuals. She said the first transsexual she helped give birth, was eight years ago. And she knows of 35-40 such cases. So, TPM isn’t the first. He’s just the first to go public with it. And so you see, he’s not the only one to be so freaky. And I feel bad that they feel that way. Because if they were to do as many people wish they would, which is live as something they feel they’re not… well, I imagine that would be pretty horrible.
Lucky for me, I just have to live with being torn about my feelings on the issue.