I’m going to try my hardest not to complain. I just want to get a post out explaining why I haven’t been posting much. There’s really so much I could say, but I’ll try to keep it short. Basically, Ana is still waking up for multiple feedings (four times the last two nights) and I’ve been really tired. I’m not one that deals with sleepiness well and I feel like things have been slowly falling apart.
I had set my mind to not put Ana on a schedule because we did that with Caleb and I have lingering guilt about “training” an infant who just wants to be cuddled and loved. I was dead set against training especially after reading this very interesting blog post about a woman who breastfed her son while her family lived in Mongolia for three years. I was really struck by the difference in attitude about “indulging” babies.
But, now I’m having second thoughts about this method of going with the flow and following what ever schedule Ana wants to be on. After all, I don’t live in Mongolia. I live in America. Land of the discontent and over-scheduled.
So, right now I’m in decision limbo. Haven’t quite decided if I want to hold out hope for her sleeping through the night soon and trying my hardest to be happy with all that I have to be thankful for (because there really is a lot of that). Or. Maybe I should go to the library and borrow Baby Wise and work on the same sort of training that we put Caleb through.
Honestly, I’m leaning towards just sucking it up. I can’t shake that awful feeling of depriving her of that comfort that only I can provide. Because all though it is very true that she can make it through the night with out eating, she just doesn’t want to. I’ve made it 5 months already and at worst it’ll go on for 7 more months. I can do it right? …right?