I haven’t posted in a few days because I’ve been fixing over a hundred old blog posts that I transferred from another domain. All these years I didn’t realize that the images weren’t showing up! I have a lot more work to do on this blog, but I’m so happy I have time to write again.
Friday was busy, in a good way. I got my hair cut–all the old dyed hair is gone! I’d rather have soft, healthy grey hair than scraggly brown hair. I’d show you a picture, but I’m shy. 😉
I also got to meet Shane for a lunch date. Even though I don’t feel guilty abou tnot having a “real” job and the kids being at school, it’s been on my mind a lot. Actually I do have a job since we’ll have to pay back the VA thousands of dollars if I don’t pass these classes. But you know what I mean, it’s not a traditional job, nor am I taking care of my kids all day long. And I can’t seem to shake this invisible pressure to do more. Like I have to justify how I spend my time to society. No one asked or told me to do this, so I’m not sure why I feel like this. I don’t know why I feel that people are judging me for being neither a “stay-at-home mom” nor a “worker mom”. I mean, what am I exactly? And why do I sometimes feel the need to label myself?
Anyway, thankfully those insecurities do not dominate my thoughts. For the most part, I’m finally feeling happy. Like I have time to think, not only about myself, but about other people in a way that goes beyond survival. It goes beyond making food, and nagging, and wiping butts. I feel happy enough to want to take the kids on a morning hike because they’re getting antsy. Like this…
Shane drives me crazy on the weekends because he likes sleeping in, taking two hours to drink coffee, and by then it’s lunch time. Spend an hour or two for lunch and then it’s mid afternoon by the time he’s ready to do something, which is about when my body starts winding down and I start thinking about what I’m going to make for dinner. It’s an annoying cycle that I can’t seem to control. I know what needs to be done. I need to be Me. Wake up early, and get out the door with the kids and DO SOMETHING!! Leave Shane to mill around. I just wish I could get to a place where I could do that without resenting him.
Anyway, the kids were bickering so I took Caleb and Eliza for a short trek in the woods near our house. I wanted to see the little stream, which was quite high during the last big rain we had. It covered the board that Caleb is standing on below.
I also volunteered at the Big Sur Marathon expo on Saturday. It’s really got me wanting to run some races. I’m thinking about doing the Run in the Name Love 5K in June.
On the way home from the expo, I stopped at the stairs. I walked up three times! It’s getting easier!
On Thursday, I did another 1 min. walk/3 min. run. That makes two weeks in a row that I ran twice! It’s the most consistent I’ve been in a really long time. This coming week I’ll do 1 min. walk/4 min. run.
I had a pretty good FitBit week. Ran twice, stairs two times, and I walked Charlotte home twice. Sundays seem to be slow for me because I pretty much sit at my computer all day doing school work. But at least I’m being productive and I didn’t say I was depressed laying in bed watching Netflix and eating See’s Candies.
I’m really happy with 138 floors for the week! I did the stairs on Monday and Saturday. On Friday, Charlotte wanted to walk the long way, which takes us up a huge hill, so that’s how I got 28 floors that day.
I got lazy about logging my water towards the end of the week. I wanted to point this out (to myself) because I really want to keep this up.